GoofyThat’s right. I’m the tool.

Two weeks ago, a few minutes into a breakfast I was having with a friend in Chiang Mai, Thailand, this said ‘friend’ suddenly looked up from her omlette and called me a ‘tool’. Actually, not only did she call me a tool, but she called me the ‘biggest traveling tool of 2010‘. I know, I know. At first, it sounds like quite the compliment and believe you me, I quickly offered my sincerest thanks to this friend for her kind words.

But as soon as my friend dropped her head into her hands in what appeared to be a moment of disbelief, or perhaps disgust, I realized that something was wrong. Well, it turns out that she was not actually labeling me as

something useful that can help one achieve an aim

but rather as a

person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a ‘what-are-you-even-doing-here’ look‘.

Needless to say, upon realizing that she was referring to the urban slang definition of the word, the smile immediately melted from my face.

This friend had her reasons though, most notably of which was my refusal, during a group karaoke session the night before, to give up the microphone when Bette Midler’s version of “Wind Beneath My Wings” was played. And not only did I refuse to hand over the microphone, but I was quite dedicated to singing this song as passionately as any other human being had ever sung it, which forced me to commit that grave karaoke faux pas of drowning out every other singer’s voice with my own out-of-tune, ghastly shouting. Apparently, it was an ugly sight, even though I must admit that I was completely oblivious at the time and upon finishing the song, thought I had really nailed the performance.

Anyway, my friend politely informed me that I had in fact destroyed that lovable 80s ballad and as a result, had gone on to solidify my place as the ‘biggest traveling tool of 2010‘.

Well done Earl.

On that note, I would like to wish you all a most enjoyable and safe New Years and an infinitely rewarding 2011!

And wherever your path takes you during this upcoming year, don’t forget to stop every now and then and enjoy the benefits of laughing at yourself. Although, if you have trouble laughing at yourself, feel free to laugh at me instead. Just let me know if you need some assistance and I’ll send you a photo of my webbed toes.