Truth be told, we human beings often don’t understand the true value of a particular moment in our lives until well after that moment has passed. Yet we often forget this undeniable fact in our quest to immediately categorize every interaction and event that occurs, so that we may quickly embrace the positive and discard the negative.
Lately, I’ve reached the conclusion that every single goal I’ve achieved, hurdle I’ve overcome, step of progress I’ve made and lesson I’ve learned, would not have been possible without the mishaps, pain, disappointments, struggles and ‘mistakes’ I’ve dealt with along the way. In other words, I would not be where I am today without those moments that I was once so quick to label as ‘negative’.
The following true story is an example, albeit an extreme one, of why we should openly accept every moment, both the seemingly positive and the seemingly negative. The truth is, there is ALWAYS hidden value in every moment of life. It just might take us some time to discover it.
Vikram Stole My Car…
In late 2002, I lived in Los Angeles for two months. I really didn’t know too many people there and ended up hanging out with my new friend Vikram most of the time. He was a nice, trustworthy guy, quite humorous and overly generous and always full of positive energy. So, when I decided to leave LA, I was more than happy to sell my car to him for a ‘friend’s price’ of $3000. Vikram paid me $500 up front and promised to send me the rest of the money after receiving his next paycheck.
I left Los Angeles and I never heard from Vikram again.
A Plan is Hatched…
Vikram was from the Indian town of Shillong, the capital of the remote northeastern state of Meghalaya. It was a place he spoke about often, usually when referring to his family or while reminiscing about his four best friends who had formed a popular jazz/reggae band.
So when fifteen days passed without any word from Vikram, and with my anger growing each day at the thought of losing $2500, I began to wonder what his family and friends would think about his actions. I envisioned myself being magically teleported to Shillong and having a little chat with Vikram’s mother.
‘Wouldn’t that be nice,’ I thought. ‘Actually, it would.’
Two weeks later, with the style of a secret agent and the mentality of a bounty hunter, I flew to Bangkok, where I spent one week preparing for my mission. Unlike most agents, whose preparations include intense weapons and martial arts training, I passed the time with visits to Buddhist temples, nightly foot massages, buckets of pad thai, the occasional Singha beer and wandering through local markets.
And then I flew to Dhaka, Bangladesh. The reason I chose Dhaka as my entry point was due to Shillong’s location. The town is a 24-hour train/bus journey from the closest Indian international airport but only a three-hour bus ride from a remote border crossing with Bangladesh. Besides, I had never been to Bangladesh, so the decision was easy.
The Consequences of a Warning Ignored…
I landed in Dhaka at 2:00am and quite frankly, my mission did not get off to a good start. As soon as I walked out of the airport, I was literally kidnapped. Sure, my guide book had warned that “if you arrive in Dhaka after sunset, remain in the airport until sunrise” but guide books are full of so many useless warnings that I simply ignored it.
Here’s what happened. I was approached by a crowd of fifteen taxi drivers, all yelling and tugging at me, wanting me to choose them to be my driver. Eventually, I chose a middle-aged man who knew a handful of English words. He grabbed my backpack and led me through the parking lot to his vehicle.
I jumped in the back seat, welcoming the quiet. Unfortunately, the quiet lasted for two brief seconds, when the doors opened and four more taxi drivers entered the car. And then they locked the doors. There I sat, wedged in between two burly, unsmiling Bangladeshi men, with a driver and two more suspicious looking individuals sitting in the front seat. At first I wasn’t too worried, until I realized that nobody seemed to care where I wanted to go.
Here’s a quick summary of the following two days:
- I was forced, under the threat of physical pain and having all of my belongings taken from me, to pay out a total of $130 USD to the five men in the taxi.
- I was taken to an unmarked building located in a hidden alleyway in the middle of a massive slum and locked inside of a small room with a paper-thin mattress, disgusting squat toilet and more cockroaches than I care to share a room with.
- The following morning I was picked up by two of the taxi drivers and taken by car to an unmarked ‘hotel’ where I was again locked inside a small concrete room.
- At 10:00am the following day, the man I had originally chosen to be my driver returned with a ‘friend’ and immediately demanded that I pay them each $100.
- By this time, I realized that these people had no idea what they were doing so I simply refused to pay and we ended up just staring at each other in silence for about thirty minutes.
- The two men brought me to a bank and demanded I take out $500 USD. I went inside, pretended to talk to the teller and then informed the men that I was unable to access my account.
- They brought me back to the ‘hotel’, told me to get my backpack and to return immediately to the lobby area.
- I grabbed my backpack, ran down a side hallway, out a back door and into the streets of Dhaka.
- I then went for some lunch.
Shillong, Here I Come!
After Dhaka, I moved eastward, spending a most bizarre two and a half weeks making my way towards the border. I encountered a street fight between the male passengers of my bus and the male passengers of another bus, a near-deadly riot in a cinema, not one plate of edible food, police brutality in broad daylight and endless pleas by Bangladeshis for visa-sponsorship to the USA. I also had to deal with elderly prostitutes following me around, swarms of mosquitoes and violent monkeys and nearly killing a small boy by accidentally running over him while riding a bike. To state the obvious, it was a challenge.
When I finally arrived at the remote border crossing, I was of course not at all surprised to discover a gunfight taking place between the Indian and Bangladeshi armies. What I did find surprising was the sudden display of hospitality, as a temporary two-minute cease-fire was declared, allowing me to cross the border without fear of receiving a bullet in my neck.
A few hours later, I arrived by local bus into Shillong. It was time to track down Vikram’s friends and family and kindly ask for their assistance in helping me retrieve my money. The next morning I began my search, a search that ended up taking all of thirty minutes. The first person I asked, a man selling CDs in the market, knew exactly where Vikram’s band member friends lived. Twenty minutes later I was knocking on the door to their house.
Time to Meet and Then Say Goodbye to the Family…
They were a most welcoming and friendly group of guys, immediately inviting me in and even asking me to join them on a short trip across town. Oddly enough, they were headed to the home of Vikram’s family to drop something off for his brother. And so, as luck would have it, I soon found myself sitting on a sofa speaking with Vikram’s mother.
Unfortunately though, I never got a chance to bring up Vikram’s $2500 debt. I did have a chance to take a peek in Vikram’s room, where I chose not to steal as much as I could stuff my pockets with, despite my strong desire to do so.
Ten minutes after our arrival, the local news station issued a warning. A two-day strike had been called by a local student union group. Although this might not seem alarming at first glance, an Indian ‘strike’ requires that all businesses close down and that nobody be allowed to go outside. If you are seen on the streets, chances are you would be shot by the groups of student union members marching around demanding better treatment by the government.
The band members quickly devised a plan and without hesitation invited me to join them yet again. I said goodbye to Vikram’s mother, telling her I would visit again once the strike was over. I was not about to give up on my money that quickly.
After a quick stop at the mayor’s house, where we drank beer and smoked Afghani hashish on the rooftop while the shirtless and highly intoxicated mayor rambled incoherently about the lack of cheese in Shillong, we left the town and drove out into the middle of nowhere.
The plan was to spend two days camping at a remote lake some 5 hours away from Shillong until the strike ended. And that’s exactly what we did, along with swimming, canoeing, playing pickup games of cricket with local Khasi tribal villagers and spending a lot of time sitting around the campfire, talking and playing music. And it was around the campfire that I learned some more about Vikram.
Vikram? Prison?
It turned out that my good old pal Vikram had spent time in a Calcutta prison for smuggling weapons into India. He also joined a powerful and violent militant group during his incarceration before managing to escape from prison altogether. He briefly visited friends and family after breaking free and then fled the country. He hadn’t been seen in over 3 years.
All I kept thinking was, ‘I had seen him, every day right there in LA. And the bastard owes me $2500.’
As I heard more tales of Vikram’s suspicious behavior and links to organizations known for bombings and indiscriminate killings, I was shocked that I had failed to notice anything out of the ordinary during our friendship. In fact, shouldn’t it have seemed odd to me that Vikram often wore black jeans, a black jacket and black military boots, in the middle of the Los Angeles summer? In fact, now that I thought about it, there was nothing else that Vikram resembled more than a convicted militant prison escapee. Damn. That doesn’t say much about my ability to choose friends wisely.
During the five-hour drive back to Shillong after the strike had ended, I was furious with myself for not having read the signs and for allowing myself to be tricked into trusting Vikram. ‘Just look where that friendship has led me,’ I kept repeating over and over.
Where Did My ‘Friendship’ With Vikram Lead Me?
I certainly would have been $2500 richer without him. I also wouldn’t have had to trek around the world, spend a week in Bangkok, bravely escape from my inexperienced kidnappers in Dhaka, explore the beautiful tea plantations and jungles of eastern Bangladesh, cross a remote border crossing during a gunfight, meet and become friends with a popular and wonderfully talented Indian band, smoke hashish with the mayor of an Indian state capital, spend two days camping at a breathtaking lake where local tribal people had never seen a foreigner before…and I wouldn’t have decided to spend an additional six months exploring India.
You see where I’m going with this…
What was the better deal? Having the $2500 in my bank account or embarking on an unforgettable, life-changing journey across the Indian-subcontinent?
To me, there is no decision to make. The answer is all too clear.
In Conclusion…
We cannot afford to view the disappointing moments of life as wholly negative. We should embrace them, sure, as difficult moments, but also as potentially positive life-altering experiences. Had Vikram not stolen my car, I would never have ended up in India at that point in my life. And if you’ve read my “Why Every Traveler Must Visit India” post, you’ll understand how important a role that first trip to India played in shaping who I am.
Opportunities present themselves to us all the time, but if we automatically discard our disappointing and regretful moments as useless impediments to our progress, we just might miss out on a great deal of what life has to offer us.
By the way, I never did bring up Vikram’s debt to his mother. Actually, I decided it wise for me to leave Shillong the morning after returning from the lake. I didn’t need a powerful militant organization after me. I could barely handle a group of five taxi drivers.
Let me know if you agree with this perspective. Have you lived through a difficult period of time or extreme moment of disappointment that you were eventually thankful for and which had a lasting positive impact on your life?
What!? Dude… If you had posted this a week ago, it would be on every Top 10 Blog Posts of 2009 list.
Can I be your agent? When will your screenplay be finished?
I usually try to put some thought into blog comments, but this post has made me into just some average sycophant.
Andrew´s last blog ..Reaching Escape Velocity (Hanging Out With Steve Roberts)
Andrew, the agent gig is yours. And believe me, there is probably a trilogy’s worth of material that didn’t even make it into this post. If it works out you’ll be on that new catamaran before you know it!
Nice! I’m immediately heading out to buy the wheelbarrow we’ll need to carry around all of the money.
Andrew´s last blog ..Reaching Escape Velocity (Hanging Out With Steve Roberts)
That is by far the best travel story I have read, yet.
James NomadRip´s last blog ..Crush It! Work Your Face Off with Gary Vaynerchuk
Thanks James. Much appreciated. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Wonderful story Earl. I really like hearing about your travel adventures. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – it’s your attitude towards life that I like. You have a lot of knowledge and wisdom to share!
This story epitomizes this quote by Steve Jobs, which I love:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”
Nate´s last blog ..Why Are We So Miserable With Our Jobs?
Nate – you’re right, that quote is spot on with my story. I’m happy to turn around every now and then and glance back at the past, reflecting in awe at how the most unexpected moments and situations ended up being the ones that have shaped my life.
I had an Indian orthodontist “friend” for a while in New Zealand. He wanted to be my flatmate, but his current flatmate told me living with him wouldn’t be wise as there were things the guy did that would get on my nerves.
Eventually, he had a falling out with his orthodontic partner and moved to a different city. A few months later he was arrested and extradited back to the States to stand trial for being involved in a massive pedophile ring in New York. He was on the F.B.I’s most wanted list!
Hey Gordie – it looks like you’re better at choosing your friends and flatmates than I am! That’s a crazy story indeed, and more proof that you really never know who someone is, even a friend. At least that guy was finally arrested. I’m still trying to track down Vikram (just for the fun of it now) and the last thing I’ve been able to determine is that he’s still on the loose and was recently working in Iraq.
Thanks for sharing the story!
I kept saying, are you serious. are you serious?! I would’ve been done at the kidnapping. Great story and glad I found this blog. I’ll be back.
Robyn´s last blog ..The Dream List (so far)
Welcome Robyn! I appreciate your visit. Yeah, the kidnapping certainly got me off to a shaky start and I thought about whether or not to continue, but in the end I decided not to give up so quickly, thinking it couldn’t possibly get worse than that!
And I’ll be heading over to your site right now to check it out…
Earl, that was a great story not to mention all your other blogs. You’re a crazy dude.
I still think you should have took something from Vikram’s room!
Take care
Thanks Sam. You have no idea how hard it was for me to avoid taking something from his room. Maybe next time I go to India I’ll visit his family again!
Brilliantly entertaining, with a wonderful life lesson (as usual). I don’t even know what to say, except: THANK YOU. This was a fantastic read, and totally deserves a stumble and any other way I can think of to share it.
I’m growing rather fond of your blog, Earl… as if I needed yet another thing to be addicted to!
Lisis´s last blog ..An Anniversary, a Thank You, and a Promise
Hey Lisis – I would be more than happy to occupy even the tiniest corner of your addiction list, even though that would result in tremendous pressure on me as I wouldn’t want to disappoint! Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday…
As long as you’re keeping it real, I’ll never be disappointed. Keep having adventures, knowing some will be greater than others. Keep looking on the bright side, knowing sometimes even the bright side may not look all that great. And keep sharing what you’re discovering along the way… about the world, about yourself, and about life. With just that, I’ll be hooked.
I think I can handle that…thanks Lisis!
Once again great post!!!
Thank you for sharing your experiences and allowing us to see life from a different perspective!
Thank you for commenting Liz. It’s always wonderful to know when readers enjoy what has been posted!
Holy crap that’s awesome. Write about the kidnapping more. How scared were you? Did you think they might kill you? Why didn’t you tell the people in the bank what was happening? What were the kidnappers like?
Hey Derek –
Here’s some answers to the questions you asked…I honestly could write another year’s worth of posts from my time in Bangladesh (maybe I will)…
Apart from the drive from the airport to the place where I spent the first night, I surprisingly wasn’t too scared. I figured that if these guys were planning on killing me or causing me great bodily harm, they probably would have taken all of my possessions and money from the start and not put me in a room that had a bed (although a crappy one) and a toilet. I considered it a good sign that I wasn’t standing naked on the side of the road without a penny to my name and so I convinced myself there wasn’t too much to be scared about.
The reason I never told the people in the bank what was happening was because it was a small bank and the teller didn’t speak English. When I walked in, the handful of people that worked there all pointed to one particular lady, saying “english, english”. But when I approached her she said, “no english” and so I just mumbled some words so that the guys outside thought I was trying to get the money. Also, at this point, I absolutely knew that these guys had no idea what they were doing and I started to find the ordeal to be exciting, so I was a bit curious as to how it was going to play out.
Two of the kidnappers were large, angry guys that never uttered a word the entire time but were the ones that generally escorted me in and out of the buildings. The driver was the only one that really tried to communicate with me and he seemed like he was probably a nice guy when not kidnapping people. I never saw a gun, only one knife that one man kept on his lap during the drive from the airport. The absolute inability to communicate with me seemed to frustrate them as I would often play dumb when they tried to make a demand or tell me what to do through body language, bangla or broken english. I don’t think they were expecting such a difficult time with that.
Overall, it ended up being a somewhat expensive “meet and greet” package, transportation from the airport and two nights accommodation included!
I see you’re enjoying Puerto Vallarta, keep me updated as to where you end up exactly…and my only recommendation is a local restaurant called “Tacon Marlin”. It’s near the airport and you won’t regret it, as long as you eat fish…just ask anyone where it is and they’ll lead you there…it’s 5.5 pesos to get there on any bus that says “Aeropuerto”…
“Also, at this point, I absolutely knew that these guys had no idea what they were doing and I started to find the ordeal to be exciting, so I was a bit curious as to how it was going to play out.”
OK, so it’s official – you are crazy.
I see this as a Wes Anderson movie. Get on it Andrew, let’s make this happen.
Derek´s last blog ..2009 Review, 2010 Goals & Dreams
Yes indeed, let’s get Wes on the phone ASAP!
Good to see Buddhist philosophy applied to the perceived negative experiences of our lives…. Looking forward to the Mr. Whiskey in Chiang Mai being put into writing at some point as well. Good post as always. B
Hey B – that story will be written at some point for sure!
Earl,
Drama all around!
Where have i been? I thought that such things only happen in movies. I was wrong!!
Thanks man. I have been inspired.
Christopher Kabamba´s last blog ..Why Commandments are NOT for Conscious and Intelligent Beings
Welcome Christopher! I appreciate you stopping by my site and trust me, I still find it difficult to believe this crazy tale myself sometimes (but it is 100% true). And I’m happy to hear you’ve been inspired…although I don’t recommend heading off to get yourself kidnapped anytime soon!
Early, this is one of the most entertaining reads I’ve had in a LONG while! Sweet! I’m visiting from JetSetCitizen.
It’s amazing… as we are quite similar, yet so different. What an amazing adventure. I’m excited to read more of your stories.
I write from “the other side” of the matrix over on my site. And don’t worry, my latest post is somewhat a devil’s advocate post, but I may have done too strong of a job convincing.
Best,
Sam
Financial Samurai´s last blog ..The Dark Side Of Early Retirement
Hey Financial Samurai – Thanks so much for the comment and I appreciate your visit here! It appears that we do have quite a bit in common after exploring your site, although I noticed you labeled a trip to Kabul as a ‘fakecation’ in the comments while my trip to Kabul was my ideal adventure!! But your last post definitely brings up some excellent points that I think quite a lot of ‘lifestyle designers’ should think about before they take off into the unknown…
I’ll have to read about your Kabul trip!
Good to see Matt SF discover this post after my tweet. I hope others come, b/c this was such an entertaining post! I’ve actually had my own kidnapping story in Rio which I’ll write about sometime in the future.
Cheers, Sam
Financial Samurai´s last blog ..Why Isn’t President Obama Considered White to The World?
Hey Sam – Thanks so much for your support and spreading the word about this post. And I’ll definitely be looking out for that Rio story. I’m curious to hear what kind of adventures you were caught up in…hopefully it was worth the story in the end!
Probably one of the healthiest “lemons to lemonade” stories I’ve ever read. Bravo for your positive vibes!
Matt SF´s last blog ..Noteworthy Quotes from Berkshire Hathaway 2010 Annual Meeting
Hey Matt – I appreciate your comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the story. To me, as long as I get a chance to have such adventures, I can only think of them in a positive light!
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