You want to travel. You make a vague plan. Maybe you’ll fly to Thailand or maybe to Mexico, but either way, you’re leaving in six months time. You start saving money, you start doing research every single night and your level of excitement grows with each passing hour.
Of course, as this will be your first ‘real’ travel experience, you naturally prefer to travel with other people and so you start asking your friends to join you on your epic adventure. As you show them photos you found online of white sand beaches on a Thai island and of the Mayan ruins of Chichen-Itza, you are more than confident that you will have a travel partner or two in no time at all.
But interestingly enough, the first friend you ask, perhaps your closest friend, turns you down. And so you move on to the next friend, but they too, tell you that they have no desire to join you at all. The third friend, the fourth friend and even that guy that you don’t really like but whose company you think you could stand for a few months in Southeast Asia, all say no as well.
Suddenly, you are faced with the idea of embarking on a journey to faraway and very foreign lands all alone. You start to doubt whether or not you are up for the challenge, whether or not you have the courage necessary to survive as a solo traveler.
Maybe you decide to postpone your trip for another six months, hoping that one of your friends will change their mind and decide to tag along. Maybe you decide to forget about your trip altogether, fully convinced that you can only travel so far away from home with a friend or travel companion by your side.
You still desperately want to travel, so much so that you still spend many a night awake in bed researching random destinations, reading every travel article you can find and browsing through travel blog after travel blog. But now you try to accept the fact that what you read and see online is as close as you’ll come to actually traveling yourself.
DON’T GIVE UP JUST YET!
Perhaps, during your online dreaming, you stumbleupon my travel blog and you decide to stick around long enough to read a couple of posts. Maybe you find yourself reading this very post and you can relate to that process of giving up on your travel goals simply because you don’t want to travel alone. And in all honesty, if that is the case, then I’m quite happy that you are reading this post right now.
Here’s my advice to you. You may be on your own when you board that flight to Bangkok or Mexico City, but believe me, once you arrive, you’ll NEVER actually be alone.
That’s how travel works. Unless you stare at the ground and never talk to anyone, you’re going to meet people when you travel, lots and lots of people from all over the world who will be interested in meeting and hanging out with you. In fact, meeting new people is probably one of the easiest things to do when traveling because you have an instant connection with every other traveler. All travelers are strangers in a foreign land and as a result, we often would love an opportunity to travel with a new friend.
Maybe you’ll meet someone at the hostel or guesthouse where you’re staying or at a cafe, in a shop, on a bus or just in the street. Maybe you’ll end up wandering around a city for an afternoon with this person and then parting ways. And the next day, you’ll probably meet someone else to share new experiences with as well. Perhaps you’ll meet someone and decide to travel together for a couple of days or even a couple of weeks. Maybe your plans match up so well that you team up for a month or more.
The point is, you’ll meet plenty of people in just about every single corner of the world, even if you’re the most shy, introverted person on the planet.
MY FIRST SOLO TRIP
When I left for Southeast Asia back in 1999, I did so all alone. Sure, I asked every single one of my friends to join me, just as most of us would do, but they all said no. However, after a long, hard internal debate, I made the decision to visit Asia anyway, with no travel companion. And this decision proved to be the most important decision I have ever made.
I won’t lie to you. When I boarded that flight from Los Angeles to Bangkok, I was shaking. I was so scared of the uncertainty that awaited me that I could barely even think and as a result, I couldn’t help but realize that this was the most terrifying experience of my life.
In fact, several years later, when I was given ten seconds notice one day that I would have to give a forty-five minute presentation to 1000 people on a cruise ship, the fear I felt at that moment was NOTHING in comparison to how I felt on that flight to Thailand.
But of course, despite the fear, as I soared high over the Pacific Ocean, high over Taiwan and eventually into Southeast Asia, I knew that there was no turning back.
AND THEN MY FLIGHT LANDED…
…and I passed through immigration and customs at the Bangkok Airport and I even managed to make it from the airport into the city center without any problems despite the fact that it was after midnight. I spent the night in a budget hotel room and then, during my first stroll around the streets of Bangkok the very next morning, I met a British traveler at a cafe. We started talking and sure enough, we both had planned to travel overland to Cambodia in order to celebrate the Millennium at Angkor Wat.
That was it. Just like that I had a travel partner, less than nine hours after I had arrived in Bangkok. And we got along so well that we ended up traveling together for almost two months.
Will that happen to you when you embark on your adventure? There’s no guarantee of course. But again, if you look up, smile and start conversations with those around you, the chances of you actually being alone are quite miniscule (unless you want to be alone).
And before long, you’ll understand why I answer every single email that asks me what it’s like to always travel alone with the very same response. I simply say, “I may be a solo traveler but I’m never really on my own.”
So, with that now said, I urge you to not let the fear of traveling by yourself stop you from achieving your travel goals. It would be such a shame to let that happen, especially when that fear will disappear shortly after you arrive at your first destination.
Have you experienced this fear? Have you reconsidered your travel plans when your friends didn’t want to join you? Do you agree that meeting people is quite easy while on the road?
Back in 1999, I left home for a 3 month trip to Asia that has still yet to end.
Earl, I am a firm believer in traveling alone. While wandering around by myself I am – and appear accurrately to others to be – so much more open to meeting people than I would be if traveling alone. I find myself, interestingly, not meeting so much other travelers as meeting and becoming friends with locals. The insight they give me into their lives, attitudes and beliefs is just utterly invaluable. I think even if you can find a friend or friends to travel the world with, you should do part of it on your own and be open to local influences. They can change your life forever for the better.
Hey Sabina – I’ve also found that locals are more apt to help out a lonely traveler than they would be two travelers or a group of travelers. A solo person is so much more approachable and just a simple hello can lead to some of the best local experiences, as you’ve had yourself. And I think that’s a great point about spending time on your own, even if you are traveling with others. There’s no reason why two people can’t split up and spend part of the day on their own in order to have such experiences!
…”so much more open to meeting people than I would be if NOT traveling alone,” the above comment should say. Sorry!
I love reading posts like this! I took my first solo trip about 4 years ago because I hadn’t been out of the country in years, and I finally decided it was time to stop waiting around for someone else to come with me. It was a great decision and a great trip, and it has intensified my addiction to travel. Now I try to convince people whenever possible that solo travel is great, at least to try once or twice, and how much fun it is meeting new people.
Hey Ali – It’s good to hear that you decided to stop waiting around as many people never find the confidence to make that decision! And your story is just further proof that solo travel ends up being the preferred travel style of most people despite how nervous they are before they begin…
Hi. I did Stumbleupon this post, ironically. I often travel alone, and will often pick up a travel bargain, or make a whimsical decision, and be off the next day, by myself of course. Friends (particularly female) often wonder how I can do it, but I really think it’s easier to go alone, less planning, less stress.
Some countries are a little harder to meet people than in others. High tourism countries are easy. Most of Asia is easy, you can pick travellers or ex-pats easily, and they all mostly enjoy a chat.
My trick is if I get a bit lonely, to book a group tour (scuba diving is particularly good for me). But often I just enjoy wandering around, getting to know coffee shop owners and talking to other travellers about their trip, so I don’t get so lonely.
Hey James – That’s a great trick as even booking a short, inexpensive day trip or half-day trip wherever you may be will help you instantly meet some new people. And in my experience, any time I’ve been on such a trip, the group or at least some of the group ends up hanging out together once the trip is over!
Travelling alone is so great but you are right about the fact that you are never really alone. In fact, I find that I meet more people when I am travelling on my own than I do when I’m with a friend. Getting on that plane can be a little daunting I guess but anyone with any qualms about going it alone should read this and at least try solo travel once. They will be hooked I’m sure!
Hey Cherina – I’m willing to bet that just about everyone gets hooked as you said. It’s quite rare to hear of someone who traveled on their own and did not enjoy it in the end!
I love how you said, “You may be on your own when you board that flight to Bangkok or Mexico City, but believe me, once you arrive, you’ll NEVER actually be alone.” That is so true! While none of my friends back at home could ever understand why I’d travel alone, I’ve met some new friends when I travel solo and it’s always led to some fun stories/adventures. Sometimes the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself.
Hey Diana – It’s probably one of the most proven truths of travel!
hey im grateful forever for stumbleupon that make me found u!! ive been thinking hard about all this travel alone thing..and my biggest problem is approval from my family..im 22 years old female and been living far from family for my study (and come home twice a month) and it wont be a problem for me to adapt anywhere but my family just dont have enough trust in me.do u have any opinion/suggestion in this matter?
Hey Skema – In such a situation, the only thing to do is determine what is best for you. If you feel that you can handle traveling alone, then you owe it to yourself to give it a try. If you trust in yourself, then you’ll be all set. And while it might be difficult to go against what your family thinks, I really don’t think it will take too long for them to realize that you are perfectly capable of handling yourself out there in the world. Besides, as mentioned in the post, you’ll never really be alone
After reading this it totally makes me want to take that solo trip to Thailand that I’ve been desperate to do. I did have qualms about being a girl and travelling alone, but after reading the above comments and seeing how many females have had amazing trips solo, I can put those insecurities to rest. When I lived abroad I did travel alone, but only a few hours or so away (when you’re in Europe that’s a whole new country!) so taking a 14 hour+ plane ride to visit a country half way around the world, will definitely be a new adventure to look forward to.
Thanks Earl!
Hey Claire – That’s so wonderful to hear and I think you’re making the right decision! Soon enough you’ll be leaving the exact same comments as the other solo female travelers did on this post whenever you meet others who are nervous about traveling on their own
Definitely do it, Claire! I’m traveling Thailand/Cambodia/Laos as a single female at the moment, and it’s probably one of the best places to do so. Stay in dorms to meet instant travel buddies (especially if they’re well-reviewed online).
I’m currently traveling solo around South East Asia, and believe me, the flight has been the scariest part of the trip so far. The great thing about traveling solo is that you can do whatever you want, on YOUR schedule, and wait for no one. If I want to meet people, I stay in a dorm room in a well-reviewed hostel, and get instant travel buddies. If I want some alone time (which as a very introverted person, I often do), I book a private room and simply reflect for a few days. Don’t get me wrong, when I get off a 12-hour bus ride at 9p.m. with nowhere to stay, I do wish I had a partner in crime. But it always works out, and I feel more empowered (especially as a chick) as a result of my resourcefulness. Two words: Do It.
Hey Kristen – Those are two good words indeed! And you showed exactly how it tends to play out when we travel on our own. Once the flight is over…things get much easier than most would believe.
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I found this several months ago, but I still find myself thinking about it and the impact it made. The prospect of traveling alone is terrifying to me, and I was looking for resources to help make it seem less scary. The title alone made me feel better! Love this post
Hey Ava – Don’t worry, the prospect of solo travel is terrifying to everyone at first! But when you hear so many people say that there is nothing to worry about in the end, hopefully that will give you the confidence to take that step yourself. Glad the post has made you feel a little better
Hi, I’ve desperately wanted to travel since I was a kid, after finally getting a job and saving up I had planned to go to Thailand next year on my own for 6 weeks, nobody I know has enough money to go with me or they have other commitments.
However, my friends and whole family are against me going, I’m 25, small and look quite young for my age everyone says I’m just asking for trouble by going alone that I will be easy pry etc.
I am aware of the dangers, I’ve told them that, I’m not going to go wandering around deserted beaches and streets alone in the dark, trust strangers and get drunk. I’m a sensible person with common sense.
I’m desperate to go, I don’t want to end up sitting in my 60s looking back and regretting that I never took the opportunity. The whole situation has gotten me depressed, just need some advice I suppose, I haven’t come across a single person who has said “great you’ll have a really good time, just be careful and keep you’re wits about you.” But then again I don’t know anyone who has gone backpacking, they all go on 2/3 week holidays to Europe.
What should I do? My family is dead set against me going so much so that I had to tell them I wouldn’t (although I am still saving anyway).
Really need help with this, what would you do if you’re daughter or sister was planning a 6 week trip to Thailand alone?
Hey Laura – The simple answer is “Just go!”. Not only will you be perfectly safe, there have been thousands of solo female travelers who have gone to Thailand before you, there will be thousands while you are there and thousands more will go after you. You will have an absolute blast over there!
All you need to do in order to ensure your safety is to use the very same common sense that you would use at home. The world is not as dangerous as we think and in fact, most of the world is a lot safer than our own home countries. And besides, Thailand certainly wouldn’t be such a popular traveler destination if every solo traveler who went encountered danger. Instead, you’ll end up encountering a fascinating culture, warm people and an entire range of new experiences that just might change your life.
So there you go…I say go for it!
GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Travelling alone does not means that you gonna be alone in the trip, you will meet and find people and you can be friends with them and travel together!
Go live up your dream!
I got inspired by Derek to travel to Argentina all by my own! So yea, you should really go and explore and see the world, keep in mind that everywhere is dangerous, as long as you are wise and alert with your surroundings, you will be FINE!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Victor! And of course, you know how happy I am that you went to Argentina by yourself and that it all turned out so well. Looking forward to hearing about more of your experiences in the future!
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