A Farewell to Ship Life

My bedroom no longer sways in the night and I no longer work to the melodies of a three-piece Latvian orchestra in the background. Oddly enough, I now seem to wake up each morning in the same location where I fell asleep the night before. Nobody is cleaning my room every day, washing my windows (which have now transformed from round to square shaped), dictating what clothes I need to wear. If I am going to be late for something, I no longer have to make an announcement throughout the entire community where I live, informing thousands of people to expect some delays in my arrival.

‘Ship life’ is the term used by all the thousands of cruise ship crew members worldwide to describe the unique lifestyle that defines the entire essence of our existence. Whether working on board a 150,000 ton, 3000 passenger ocean liner or a 500 passenger ultra-luxury ship, ‘ship life’ involves the rules, both written and unwritten, the interactions of several hundred crew members representing over fifty nationalities, the late nights in the crew bar and the fish head soup (popular among the large Filipino segment of the workforce), the fake smiles and ‘good afternoon madams’, the cabin inspections, the obnoxious guests, the security screenings, the consistently failing relationships. Nepalese security guards, Ukrainian dancers, Filipino deck hands, South African hair stylists, Moldovan bartenders – everyone survives in an unfathomable underworld that rules every second of how we live and work.

‘Ship life’ is also what I have just left behind. Do I miss it? Of course I do. It is a sense of community that I do not think is possible to experience any where else on this planet. But, just like many of those who live in the real underworlds that exist on land, I had to leave it behind before ‘ship life’ became the ‘only life’ I would know.

I will admit that as a crew member I was spoiled. I would fall asleep in Barcelona and wake up in Athens, with the process simply repeating itself over and over again while the destinations constantly shifted from St. Lucia to Curacao to Hawaii to Quebec City to Rome to Dubai, Malta, Norway, Kuala Lumpur, Samoa and on and on.

My actual job was that of Tour Manager, responsible for the shore excursions we offered our guests in the various ports of call. I dealt with hundreds of local tour operators all over the world who treated me well, almost too well. After all, I ran the department that sold their tours and therefore controlled the flow of money that ended up in their pockets. Whenever I wanted (or perhaps a friend or someone I needed to impress wanted!) to swim with the dolphins in the Caribbean, ride a helicopter over the active volcano in Hawaii, visit the ruins of Petra or sail to a secluded Greek island, I simply asked and instantly received.

In addition, my team and I were treated to gourmet meals, beach parties, private tours and unlimited rental cars, surfboards, resort passes and more, the cost of which was always taken care of by these tour operators. Seldom was it even discussed, it simply was the norm. During the Christmas holiday season we were truly spoiled, much to the envy of the other crew members, as we would return to the ship in the afternoon carrying endless bottles of champagne and wine, gift certificates, even iPods and $300 Maui Jim sunglasses.

Some would say that my team of five staff and I had the best positions on the ship. I would not for an instant disagree.

Queen Mary 2 Ocean Liner

I did earn my salary, having to work extremely hard, seldom less than 10 hours a day and every now and then up to 16 hours, without a day off for the entire six month contract. The pressure bordered on extreme in regards to both exceeding revenue goals and ensuring the thousands of guests on tour remained happy. As a result, in between my paperwork, constant emailing and handling of guest issues, I usually only managed a couple of hours off in each port, a quick stroll or swim, a bike ride or some surfing, simple activities to maintain the last remnants of my sanity.

Crew members always joke to each other that the best times off the ship are simply when the ship itself is not in sight. A day spent on a beach with the ship still in view is pointless and better spent on ‘metal beach’, the crew sunbathing area on the topmost deck of the vessel. For those that can get far enough away in order to truly release the day’s frustrations, they undoubtedly enjoy an extremely valuable period of time. But once you re-enter the port gates at the end of your day, and you wipe the sand from between your toes, that first glimpse of the ship forces a dreaded yet necessary alteration in mindset. Back to the routine, back to the ‘ship life.’

As time passed on board and one six month contract became another six month contract and then another, it began to wear me down. My brain began to numb, I questioned my reasons for being on board more frequently, I dreamt of going to the movies, having a normal relationship or standing in a bathroom bigger than the toilet it holds. When a new contract commenced, I would be fueled by a fierce motivation to make it my most productive and rewarding contract ever. But once the first two months would pass, this fire always began to wane, as I realized once again that this contract would be just like all the others. I then suffered through the final two months, cursing and vowing that I will never return, counting the days until vacation time, that moment when I can finally send my uniforms back down to the linen keeper for storage.

I always ran down the gangway when vacation arrived, as we all do, away from the impossibly long days and the unhappy guests screaming and demanding refunds for boring tour guides or rainy weather. I yearned to put the lack of social life that often drove me to stare at the walls of my bland cabin in a state of comatose boredom, behind me. No more late arrivals to port, no more tasteless food, no more mandatory crew life boat drills that seemed to always take place on the mornings when I finally had time to go to the beach.

For the first two weeks of vacation I relaxed at home, adjusting to a new world where I had absolutely nothing to do at all. But then, after visiting family and friends, taking a short trip to Mexico or Europe, I suddenly always found myself less than a week away from my return date to the ship and without having found another job.

By this point, I am quite predictably no longer able to recall the frustrations, the boredom, the angry passengers or the life-draining intensity of my work on board. I can now only remember the good times, leading me to the inevitable process of convincing myself, ‘The days were not so long, I had plenty of free time. I can handle the screaming passengers, it was not so bad. What a wonderful social life! The wine & cheese nights, the crew parties, the movie nights, the open-deck crew barbecues. Besides, this contract I will go to the gym and go to the crew bar more often and finally write that book I always wanted to write. I will not be bored at all.’

One week later I am walking up the gangway again, under a stupor of self-deceit, shouting my ‘Namastes’ and ‘Ciaos’ and ‘Hola chicas’ to those crew I recognize.

Queen Mary 2 Ocean Liner

After this process repeated itself for four years, the notion of remaining stuck at sea forever started to weigh on me. The money was excellent, but I had already achieved my financial goals and now had the means to take off on any adventure I dreamed of. The balance of what I enjoyed on board versus what I wanted to accomplish in life had begun to change drastically. The time had come to quit while I was ahead and leave ‘ship life’.

Gathering up all of my courage, I recently resigned from my position, following that strong inner urge to head in a new direction.

In one phone call to the head office, I left behind the ‘coneheads’ (crew member slang for ‘passengers’ – referring to the movie ‘Coneheads’ where the aliens left their brains at home before going on vacation). I left behind the management meetings that discussed such pressing and stimulating topics as the need for special technicians to remove the semen and blood stains from the sheets and the severe shortage of lamb and salmon for the upcoming voyage. I left behind the constant intestinal illness notification emails from the medical department, informing me of which crew members had a case of uncontrollable diarrhea and were now confined to their cabins for twenty-four hours.

Now that six weeks has passed since my resignation, and I remain confident that this was a sound decision, I can admit that I do miss certain aspects. But ship life does not allow you to have one foot at sea and one foot on land; you must definitively choose one or the other. For years I was unable to decide and so ‘ship life’ chose for me, as it does for most of those working on board.

What I do miss has nothing to do with my position or the tour operators that gave me such a royal treatment wherever I went around the globe. Instead, I long for the underworld that ‘ship life’ represents. For months at a time, hard work and hard fun intermixed with allegiances and alliances, secret lives and special favors. As in many other spheres of life, a successful existence on board depends on ‘who you know’. Without favorable connections, little gets accomplished and few problems are resolved to your liking.

The on board crew mafias operate vital black markets that control a wide range of items, from printing services to dry cleaning to phone cards to alcohol to snorkeling expeditions and fresh fruit. Catamaran tours were traded for sushi platters, alcohol was sold at inflated rates by certain crew after the bars had closed, entrepreneurial chefs delivered filet mignon and twin lobsters to crew cabins for a small ‘fee’. Money was actually rarely used, with favors that enhanced one’s life on board usually acting as the preferred currency.

In such an environment, the appeal is great; everyone has a chance to be a superstar, to live the life of a gangster. I traveled the world, building bonds on many continents and within the vessel itself, both friendships and enemies alike. I had the power to make miracles happen (to send crew to the Sistine Chapel or the Pyramids) and likewise to destroy dreams (deny crew the opportunity to see the places we visited) within our confined and unique community. The potential rewards of such a lifestyle are immense – the money, the status, the fantasy. It starts out as honest work, but the essence of ‘ship life’ reverberates throughout your being, so effectively igniting that innate instinct to not only look after yourself and your interests but to improve the conditions of your life. Working on board a cruise ship you can choose to hide in the background or try your hand at ruling the world.

Now, when I try to fall asleep each night, the strong winds cause the willow trees outside my window to sway, leaving my room itself completely unaffected by its gusts. Although I no longer wish to float upon the seven seas, I still close my eyes in the hopes of fading into some sort of familiar dream, perhaps one in which the white sands stretch forever, the money flows and the world is my home.

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121 Responses to A Farewell to Ship Life

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  5. Claudia says:

    What a great article!
    I worked for a small luxurious cruise line for several years, being wined & dined as Social Hostess.
    It’s been years and I still feel sad many days, always wondering why I left. The hardest part is that no-body in the ‘real world’ can relate to my feelings.

    Thank you for the blog, I truly think it helps many of us – knowing that we are not alone.


  6. Andi says:

    I love how always those guys are bragging about ship’s life, who have not much to do with it. With their privilaged jobs onboard, being on duty for a couple of ‘long’ hours a day… party life. rather then ship’s life. i would like to hear once from those who are really doing 10-12 hours a day, waiters, housekeeping etc. Very sentimental but far from real.

    • Wandering Earl says:

      Hey Andi – Actually, it is very real. It was my very real experience. I was a crew member just like any other crew member. Like in any company, everyone has different positions and different experiences but it doesn’t make my experiences ‘far from real’. Also, I didn’t work a couple of hours per day. If I worked less than 8-10 hours, that was a rare thing and I can tell you that those who worked 10-12 hours per day partied a lot more than I did. Go to a crew party at midnight in the crew bar…it will be full of housekeepers, waitstaff, etc, on any ship.

      Also, everyone who works on ships has completely different motivations. For those who work as waitstaff, housekeeping, etc., they are usually there to earn more money than they can at home. So, like with anything in life, especially any job, there are pros and cons involved. While it might not be an ideal job, nobody is forced to be there, and of all the crew members I met during my time on ships (in all positions), I don’t think I ever met anyone who was so overly disappointed about the pros vs cons.

  7. Stuart perry says:

    Great article. I was a golf pro fro several contracts. That was some 7 years ago since I left. Ship life left an imprint on my soul and I will never forget the times I had. Great friends from all walks of life. You simply wouldn’t get on with the different nationalities like you do on ships. Life long memories and life long friends. I miss it every day and would recommend to anyone to do it. It made me who I am today. Now with two kids life is totally different on land but I will never forget the lessons ship life taught me and very thankful for the opportunity. Great article well done. Summed up perfectly!!!

    • Michael says:

      I’ve been considering getting a job on a cruise ship but I know eventually I’d like to settle down. Career wise, how did you transition?

      • Wandering Earl says:

        Hey Michael – Once I felt it was time for me to leave ship life behind, I started thinking about other options and that’s when I decided to try working online/blogging. So I left ships and put all my effort into the online work and that is how I transitioned away from that life at sea.

  8. Kyle says:

    This is so true, I worked in the Excursion Department for way to many contracts…4 years to be exact, the royalty, the perks and the endless bonuses is what I missed. I also met my future wife by offering her a Dolphin Swim in the Caribbean :). Everyday I still miss it, but being on land, being able to shower in a room bigger then a closet and the freedom to live a normal life is even harder to pass up.

  9. Alejandro says:

    I’m so anxious and worried about what to. I’m so confused.. when I was in the ship I eager having a normal life. Now that I have it, I always dream about ship life ( no rent, no cooking etc)

    The truth is I do like shiplife, so…. why the f.. did I left it behind??? I think its because I was afraid that the more I spent on shiplife, the more difficult would be for me to reenter the normal world as my youth goes by..

    If I cant have a relationship now how can I when I’m on my 30 or 40 after spending 5 or 10 year on ships.

    THe question is… if I return to ship life and spend 5 o 8 years on a cruise… would I be able to return to my normal life ever again?

  10. R says:

    Hello Earl,
    You’ve written the best description of life on board and the challenges of finally deciding to quit due to its perks. I was also a manager once (in one of the other departments)and I agree with every word you’ve written in your post. This is my favorite part – “But ship life does not allow you to have one foot at sea and one foot on land; you must definitively choose one or the other. For years I was unable to decide and so ‘ship life’ chose for me, as it does for most of those working on board.”


  11. It’s very interesting to hear about the life of a cruise ship employee. It seems like a great way to see the world, but not without very hard work. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  12. Alana says:

    Wow!! Spot on!! I can completely relate to you when you mentioned something about coming home on vacation after your contract with nothing to do. I have done quite a few contracts on ships and every single time that I have come home the novelty has worn off after about 6 days. Being able to cook my own healthy food, not be on a schedule, getting to sleep in and do as I please is very relaxing for the first week but after that I realize that I don’t have a life on land. I will continue to work for my company for the next few years, however, you have to pick sea or land. For me, the two don’t mix. Actually, I have had such wonderful experiences with the travel overseas on ships that when I come home I have to pinch myself and ask myself if all that really happened to me in real life. I feel productiveness in my job and life on the ship. I like managing my time and getting things done and then making time for adventures on port days but I have this dull feeling every single time I come home. Nothing at home can match my travels, adventures, my interactions with locals, the delicious restaurants, cafés, and markets I have experienced. Nothing seems to match my incredible memories I will forever have. I can’t seem to kick off this jaded feeling I have as I sit at home almost wishing to be on the ship instead. I don’t want to only know shiplife in terms of a career but I am eternally gratefully for my worldly experiences thus far. Thanks for an awesome article.

  13. Kelly says:

    ahhhhhhh, we all worked together….. Not all the dancers were Ukrainian on the QM2 there were us few Brits too! Anyway I loved you guys in the tours!!! And I’m glad you have made your decision to move on. I’m still on ships and starting to get the urge to move on too. However I wanted to tell you weldone and thank you x

    Kel x

    • Wandering Earl says:

      Hey Kelly – Very true, there was a mix with the dancers 🙂 Didn’t mean to imply there wasn’t! Hopefully you’re still enjoying your time on the ships?? I still miss it quite a bit!

  14. Krisztin says:

    Hi Earl,

    I enjoyed reading your story as I have worked myself on a cruiser, however what I miss is the other side of the story, from those, who are not so privileged and getting a job like you, but like the Filipinos, who work their a.. off as dishwashers, laundry personnel or just simply as house keepers. They are not as lucky to earn as much money as you did, or getting off board, etc.. Could you please comment on those positions as well as dancers, musicians, front desk, etc. have a fabulous life on ship, compared to those who really do the hard work and are the backbone of the ship.


    • Wandering Earl says:

      Hey Krisztin – This piece was based on my own experiences and I can’t really talk about what it was like for those in other positions. All I know is that there are many similarities in terms of what crew members go through, regardless of the jobs they have on the ship. Yes, there are benefits associated with different positions, including better pay and more privileges, but again, I can only talk about what I experienced personally and the effect that had on me.

    • Fran OC says:

      I agree with you and thought the same the first time I read this article. After working in 4 different cruise companies, I wrote an article based on what I saw… if u want to take a look at my article and if Earl doesn’t mind, here is the link: http://lavidanomade.com/en/working-on-cruise-ships/

    • Ron O says:

      Kriszten: Thank you for mentioning about our other paisano’s. The Filipino’s, East Indians, Indonesians, etc.are amazing people that make cruising what it is today. They have made my life easier working on ships and they always had a smile and greeting for me. Words cannot express my deep appreciation for my fellow crew members that sacrificed there own personal lives to help there families back home. When I think about my time out on ships now, I think about the good times I had with my fellow friends that crossed all nationalities. I’m proud to say that I have earned both my I95 and M1 Trolly Pushing Union card with my fellow paisano’s.

    • Todd says:

      Hi Krisztin,
      I would just like to acknowlege the falacy that is a DANCERS life on board a cruise liner. Please, i know that the departments of house cleaning and waitstaff, bar and beverage staff work extraordinarily hard. But on behalf of the dancers… one of which i am and have been on ships for 5 and a half years, I would like for one and ALL to know, that our life isnt the glitter and glamour that it seems from the spot light shining down. Unfortunately most ALL dancers can carry a waiters tray and make a bed… and we ALL have done that at the SAME TIME we were TRAINING 8-10 hour days of dance for YEARS!! Alot of dancers have been dancing since they were children. And the pay…. is half of what a housekeeper makes. It looks like we might make money – but behind smoke and mirrors and bright lights, there is a bigger story. We are just VERY VERY lucky we get to do what we love. BUT WORK FOR IT WE DO!! Not only at the end of our days do our bodies hurt, our joints swell, and our ligaments stretch, but we arent able to find dance jobs in our own countries the same as any other employee on board… But we LIFT people above our heads, we jump and LEAP, girls DANCE not walk DANCE for hours in heels and we do this all while its sailing in the sea. So imagine carrying that glass that you have on a waiters tray… now doing it at sea is a little unsteady – then jump 5 feet in the air in highheels whilst smiling and tell me if that tray feels more steady than the feet you are about to land on.

      I understand its hard – EACH job is. But please never misconcieve the idea of a performer as a luxury position – we just love our little part so much that we forget all the damage it could do for the joy it brings. EVERYDAY we are blessed with the choice to smile – and to work for a dream, is a gift that we each can strive for.

      • Kate says:

        Well said……every dancer who has ever had someone tell them their life must be absolutely pampered & all glamour is applauding you right now!!
        Thanks for standing up for us all 🙂

  15. Tour Operator says:

    Thanks for this insightful reading. Well written! I have a tour operator in the Caribbean and it is nice to see and learn of the other side of the Shorexcursion managers life.

  16. Laura says:

    Wow – that I came across this … interesting read!! I left 3 months ago and was suppose to return yesterday but opted to “retire” after yes – 20 years and I “am” now going to write the book. One of my biggest lessons learned is follow your heart … and thanks for bringing all the other ones back too 🙂 Namaste.

  17. Jen Turner says:

    Yup. it’s been like 10 years since I walked away. and you are right, you do forget about all the rules restrictions and feeling dog ass tired. all you remember are the accomplishments and things that made you feel good. but I dream about it often enough. it leaves quite the memory imprinted in your soul.

  18. Sara says:

    Well said my friend. It took alot for me to walk away as.well. But in the end, they ground us to the fall. Your picture has alot of friendly faces.in it for me and it’s inspired me to email them and say hello.

    I left the cruise ships and now work offshore doing mega short contracts and love the new lifestyle. I now HAVE a life, friends at home whom I see regularly and attend plenty of social and family events. Finally fitting.in.

    All the best,

    Previous Engineer off the Queens.

  19. Gillian says:

    In some ways, your description of ship life reminds me of the life I left behind teaching high school after 10 years. On the one hand, I left behind long days, feeling like I was always working, dealing with the sometimes challenging personalities of students and parents, seemingly interminable faculty meetings and pointless trainings on the day I needed to finish report cards or take some time off because I had miraculously already managed to finish my report cards, and paperwork that never quit. On the other hand I said good-bye to the fun of watching my students practice a pep rally or talent show performance; dancing with my students at numerous school dances; seeing kids push themselves, try new things and grow through the years; helping a struggling student and seeing the light go on in his eyes; receiving home-baked cookies and Starbucks cards from students at holiday time; writing a recommendation for a leadership scholarship and celebrating with the student when she got it; creating a new lesson plan that was well-received and made me feel like a rock star; pulling off my eighth volunteer day, placing 150 kids in successful posts for a day or my second successful canned food drive, collecting 2 tons of food in volume for local food pantries; and watching the students get their first excited look at the yearbook my students had been creating in secrecy all year.

    Like a cruise ship, a high school also has a culture and a camaraderie. You’re all in it together. Sometimes there are petty jealousies or personality clashes among faculty, staff or students. But overall, it’s a family, with its share of squabbles, but an undeniable connectedness and love for the institution. Saying good-bye to that was both a huge relief and incredibly sad. It meant letting go of long, paid summer and winter breaks and of the way people look at you with respect when you tell them you are a high school teacher. But sometimes, it’s just time to move on.

  20. Tati says:

    Derek, as always your post was a shot to the heart! I remember the rush i got while reading your post about how much money we needed to travel the world. I was poisened and as my sabbatical developed, I found many of your posts oh so helpful. A friend of mine ( one I met on board) just posted this article on her timeline and now the world really feels like it fits inside my hands.
    I’m loving life on board and at 6 months through my 9 months contract I feel sometimes like jumping off but it goes away every time I remember I get paid a decent amount of money to travel and I already want to start my next contract.
    Cheers to “ship life” and life in general! We are all mad for life!!!

    • Wandering Earl says:

      Hey Tati – Glad to hear you’re loving it over there!! Good luck with the rest of your contract and definitely make the most of it!

  21. Dan says:

    You hit the nail on the head in a lot of ways. It’s been some 8 years since I gave up the ships, and I do still miss it from time to time. I stay in touch with some of the people I grew close to… others are gone with the wind. That was the time in my life when I was hanging out at the bar with friends every night in a way I didn’t do in college and can’t do now, as everyone has responsibilities and real life getting in the way. It was a great time.

    Sea days would get to you sometimes… especially as a musician since everyone else was working while you’re wandering around looking for stuff to do. The hierarchy was a pain in the ass when some power tripping two stripe douche bag felt the need to throw his weight around. As a musician, the pay was pretty abysmal, especially on the first contract… they must really be taking advantage of folks since I got them to offer DOUBLE for the second contract with the same cruise line!

    The music was also awful, and the quality of musicians was a crap shoot. Some were inspirational and amazing, and great guys to boot. Others were hacks, and they usually had a chip on their shoulder because they knew it. All personalities get magnified on ships, and that’s sometimes wonderful and sometimes disastrous. Cabin fever is REALLY no joke, at least it wasn’t for me. When it hit, it hit hard. Ditto for rare bouts of homesickness… family holidays, birthdays, etc. That was not the norm, but it was very real when it reared its ugly head.

    The good times really made it worthwhile, though… Beautiful scenery, the TENS of thousands of dollars it would cost to see so many locations on your own, large amounts of young people living within feet of each other and yards away from the bar, and all the shenanigans that arise… If they paid enough to really save a nest egg as a musician within a couple years, I’d probably still be out there.

    I’d take a short contract as a sub, but I’m done with normal 4-6 month ones. It’s been 8 years and I can’t afford to give up my business on land. The nostalgia sometimes makes me question, though.

    • Real Fagnan says:

      I was a musician sometime guest ent on ships for 16 contracts and agree with pretty much everything you said about life onboard for musos. A mixed bag for sure, but I have to admit I miss some aspects of the lifestyle that frankly, we can’t afford at home. Cheers Dan!

  22. Adam says:

    Shortly after graduating from college, I started working in the foreign service for the government and found myself in many “austere” environments around the world including Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. Just before my first work-trip overseas my partner and I had a rendezvous with several crew in Puerto Vallarta and were given the general overview of “ship life” that you so well described. Within days of arriving in Iraq, I felt like I was living the life that my cruise friend “Ned” described. Now…several years (about 9), and MANY countries later, I can say that being in the foreign service, military etc. is EXACTLY the same as living on a ship (minus a few rockets). Now that I have “retired,” I am also remember the great times, minimizing the shit times..and kind of want to go back.

    You really did a great job of illustrating what we all experience.


  23. Kate says:

    What a great article & so well written. Unless you have lived ‘ship life’ you never really truly understand what it can be like.

    Now that you have made the decision to head back to ‘land life’ how are you finding the transition? I was Dance Captain for 9 years & have now been home a year & a half and the transition has been one of the most eye opening experiences of my life so far. I was 19 when I left & 28 when I “retired” & so for all intents & purposes never lived an adult life on land. I made the decision to come home for the reason of “ship life not becoming the ‘only life’ I would ever know. I wanted more from my days & so after 9 years of a professional career decided it was time to hang up my chorus heels & find something else that would make me just as happy.

    It’s been a huge transition but one I won’t regret but I will also never regret my 9 years working on ships as it was a part of my life where I learnt who I was, what I was capable of, how strong an individual can be & how much your friends that you make along the way really matter.

    Thanks for a great article – I’d love to know how you are going with your transition to land life.

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