You’re a no good, life-wasting, rotten, monkey-loving, responsibility-avoiding, useless, bum. That’s right, if you choose to avoid the normal routine in life and replace it with travel, whether for a few months, a year or even a decade or more, you’re a bum, without exception.
When we voice our desire to travel, it is unfortunately common to be met with such lines, something that I’ve been reminded of lately after receiving six emails in the past three days from readers who are dealing with such a situation right now.
As soon as they informed their family and friends of their decision to choose a path in life that truly excites them, a path that involves travel, they immediately were told that such a decision is simply not acceptable, such a decision is a waste of time and extremely childish. They were told to stop daydreaming and to start thinking about the real world, just like everyone else.
Maybe you’ve heard similar words from those around you every time you talk about your travel goals. Maybe you haven’t heard talk as intense as the lines above, but it’s likely that at least a handful of people have stared at you blankly, laughed off your dreams as nonsense or demanded that you ‘snap out of this phase’.
And every time we are met with such negativity, that all-encompassing, blissful excitement we feel whenever we close our eyes and think about our upcoming adventures around the world, suddenly disappears, vanishes in an instant…ZAP! Then, with head down, and a hint of tears in our eyes, we spend the next few days confused, frustrated and no longer certain that travel is such a good idea after all.
Let me tell you this. If you close your eyes right now and think of travel, and a smile forms on your face and you feel a surge of positive energy spread throughout your body, then travel is definitely a good idea for you.
Don’t let others dictate your life or influence what you know in your heart is the right decision. I know it’s not easy to ignore such negative reactions, but you must push forward.
Boy Was I Naive!
When I first started traveling and I made the decision back in 2000 to turn my 3-month trip into a more permanent adventure, one of the first things I did was to naturally inform my family and friends. However, at the time, I was definitely quite naïve as I had expected everyone to congratulate me on such a wonderful idea (even though I had almost no money and no plan at all), to offer their full support, to wish me the best with the path I now chose.
Of course, that didn’t happen at all. Instead, I found myself listening to people tell me that I’m wasting my life, that I didn’t go to university in order to roam around the world doing nothing. There were heated arguments, angry exchanges and more confusion than I have ever experienced at any other point in my life. Many a night I would stay awake, questioning whether or not I was making the right decision to remain overseas and not return home to get a normal job. I was feeling so lost that on several occasions, I was completely on the verge of packing up my backpack, giving up on my goals and booking a flight home.
But then, I would step outside in the morning and proceed to have yet another rewarding travel day, the kind of day so full of positive interactions and lessons, amazing food and amazing people, so full of new sights and sounds and moments that I never dreamed I would experience, that I again became convinced that a life of travel was indeed the right decision for me.
Eventually, after so many of these kind of days, I chose to ignore forever all of the people who told me that I was wasting my life. Sure enough, once I took this big step, my confusion and frustration soon turned to confidence, a confidence that began to increase with every passing day. And while I still had no idea what lay ahead, the fact that my decision to continue my travels felt infinitely better than any other decision I’d ever made, was more than enough to convince me that I would find a way to succeed.
Does This All Sound Familiar?
If you’re in a similar situation, feeling lost at the lack of support your travel goals have received from those around you, just know that you are not alone. It’s common for those around us, especially those who care about us, to worry about the decisions we make, most often when our decisions are so different from theirs.
People will tell you that you’re just confused or that your goals are impossible and that you need to come back to reality. They’ll tell you to stop being selfish, to stop daydreaming and to get a regular job because that’s what people do.
But again, if you know deep down that you must travel, just as I knew it, then you need to go forth and travel, regardless of what others think. You won’t be wasting your life, you won’t be avoiding responsibility. You’ll be achieving your goals, living a life without regrets and in the end, giving yourself an opportunity to create an actual, sustainable lifestyle that revolves around your truest interests.
That’s certainly not being a bum. That’s being smart, that’s being courageous, that’s making the absolute most out of your short time on this planet.
How did others react to your travel plans? If you haven’t told anyone yet, are you nervous about how they might react?
Back in 1999, I left home for a 3 month trip to Asia that has still yet to end.
This post is definitely what I needed right now. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone!
Travel has been something I’ve always wanted, and always managed to incorporate into my life somehow by scrimping and saving. On my first “big” trip (a month to Thailand two years ago), everyone seemed really supportive and excited. Then I got my TEFL certificate early last year, and I’ve spent the past year abroad. I went home for a month to less-than-enthused faces, none of whom wanted to really hear about my year. I am now back in Europe, scared witless, about to teach again.
I love my life, and I’ve never been scared before. It’s strange, like you I thought the people around me would be happy that this is how I spend my life (just as I am supportive of how they’re happy with theirs) and that I have a job to boot, but everyone has been so negative. “You’re leaving AGAIN?” and “what are you actually going to do/when are you going to get a life/boyfriend/house” and so forth. Part of me was starting to agree with them.
Reading this has re-inspired me to make the most of my new travel time, and to throw myself into my new job/country this week. So thank you.
Hey Alex – It’s easy to start believing the negative reactions but if you stay true to the lifestyle that you really desire, things will unfold in their own way and you’ll enjoy an adventure that is bound to fill you with happiness and rewards. My theory is that marriage/house and things such as that might happen at some point but there’s no reason for me to rearrange my life. Keep doing what you love and you never know who you’ll meet or where you’ll end up in the end!
I am 58, my wife is 60 and since I was 17 I have been a “bum”. always callled it and I didn’t even go to university! Still travelling after all these years…no plan to stop either
Hey Paul – Good to hear that you’ve been out there for so long, enjoying the life of a ‘bum’ as well!
Hey Earl, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed all your posts I have read thus far. I just graduated college in May ’12 and am bartending for now to fund my south East Asian tour in July before I settle down in that “real job” environment which truthfully I don’t care to do but those college loans are constantly digging at me as well as my family trying to discourage my trip plan which I am currently paying no mind to. I Previously visited Buenos Aries in ’12 for one month and did not want to leave and I have a feeling that is going the case with Asia. Your posts are very informative and interesting and hopefully I would be able to somehow extend that two way ticket haha
Keep doing what you are doing!!
Hey Chad – I have no doubt, just from reading your comment, that your upcoming Asia trip might not be enough traveling for you! But that’s perfectly okay of course…there is no shortage of ways to create a lifestyle out of travel. If you ever have any questions before your trip, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll help out as best I can!
Hey Earl! Just discovering your blog. Am in my mid-20′s, live in NYC and have a “good” job, but not feeling very… Fulfilled. Your blog is giving me the encouragement I need to go after what I want, and this post really hit home. Thanks and keep up the great work!
Thanks for that Patrick and welcome to the site! I’ll be curious to see what lies in store for you in the near future….and if you have any questions about anything you read, just let me know! Good luck in NYC for the time being…
Hello Earl, I just found your blog and let me tell you, you have inspired me even more to go on a trip around the world. I’ve been planning upwards for a half a year now, gathering supplies and stuff. I’m currently in my mid 20′s and my family seems to always pull me back to “reality”, as they call it. They keep telling me pretty much the same things you just pointed out!There always seems to another question that I don’t have the answer to. What insurance so you use, most of them are quite high. And how do you stay afloat in your travels?
Hey Andre – These days, I have regular insurance back in the US and then I sometimes buy travel insurance as well. I think the best deals are with World Nomads or Clements as they both have great customer service and good coverage as well. As for staying afloat, these posts should answer that for you:
How I Can Afford My Life of Constant Travel
How I Can Still Afford My Life of Travel
Hi Earl! i am unforgivable! i’ve been planning my rtw trip since august, read a million blogs and DIDN’T FIND U BEFORE?? what a shame!
Well, i still have 2 weeks before i go!
You just became my personal hero really. Not joking. My entire life has been about travelling, and wanting to see the world. Everyone thinks im nuts or irresponsible and that, at 35, i should be thinking about marrying and having babies, not quit my well paid job to spend all my savings on “holiday”.
I just know that i get the “famous” smile as soon as i think about taking a train, a bus or even a horse to get somewhere new! And on the back of my mind, my dream has always been what you actually do…travelling indefinately. I know, not everybody can do that, ad for the moment i’m settling for around 1 year in South East Asia…:)
My friends were all happy, some of them think i’m crazy but they already thought it even without the trip…
My family is not happy at all, now they are trying to accept it, hoping that after the trip i will be satyisfied enough to stay still for at least a couple of years.
We will see!
I have a huge respect for what you did. Because i think i know bit the sacrifices it took to be faithful to your choices.
I have just one question for you….My parents and relative tell me all sort of things, but i don’t care much about their criticism, the only thing that bothers me a bit is te age thing. Sometimes i ask myself if at 35, almost 36 i am really too old to fool myself ad start over again?
Thanks for reading my “poem” and thanks in advance for your time!
Cheers from Italy
Kle
Hey kle – You have been forgiven and I welcome you to the site
And you’re definitely not nuts and I think everyone will realize that once you’re out there achieving your goals in life and they are still back at home!
As for your question, you are not too old at all and you will find people of all ages out there traveling, whether they are on the road for a few months, a few years or even longer. And you don’t know where this traveling will lead you…opportunities will open up and you’ll meet new people and chances are your path is going to end up taking you places that you could never imagine right now. And as long as you stay determined, those places are going to be wonderful!
Maaan… right on!
Let me tell you that the “social pressure” created against my lifestyle is the hardest thing to overcome, by myself at least. Making a living on the road is nothing compared to this.
Not once, but allmost everytime I am in the position of explaining my life and my goals, and more over when I get into some meaningfull relationships along the road I get tons of it
It is negative, it is tough, it is argumented, it is in my face, it is logical and it is coming from tenths of mouths … but it’s not stronger than my will to travel.
As you say, when I find myself completely confused, actually attacked by tons of arguments and “normalities”, becominf smaller amd smaller I still have in my heart somewhere deep hidden that memory, that feeling of what traveling brings that doesn’t let me give up and… each time I push my guts one more time and get back on the road aaah… I get my confidence back in one second! Nothing compares to it, nothing!
Last time I got tied up in Middle East 4 month and really though I am losing my mind completely, I managed to leave with un-imaginable effort but the moment I was on the bus from the airport terminal to the airplane… it all dosappeared in an instant, a warmth came all over my body and honestly allmost tears in my eyes… I had done it again, I’m back home, I’m on the road!
Thanks for the clarity and the inspiration!
Hey Raz – That’s about as perfect a description as I’ve ever read about the internal battle that is constantly taking place as a result of outside influences. We are our own worst critic and with this lifestyle, it is natural that we are constantly questioning every move we make and every decision that we face. But I’m the same as you…despite those difficult challenging moments when I’m really feeling the pressure, all it takes is one minute at the airport, or crossing the border to a new country or meeting a new person and suddenly, I remember how much I love this lifestyle and how much I’m willing to do in order to maintain it.
My mum still believes I’m on a hollyday and comming back to a normal life someday hi hi
Hey Raz – Haha…it’s good to keep them thinking that for a while…it makes it easier on them!
Hi Earl,
just discovered your blog by chance. And I´m really happy I did.
I´m 24 and from Germany. I came home 4 month ago after a 32 month trip. I spent almost 2 years in Australia living in a van and after that 9 month in Asia.
And I never, never ever felt any better in my life. Actually I was a really depressed person before I left (for a couple of years actually) and this stopped the very day I left Germany. Now I´m back again and it´s all creeping up on me again. I knew that would happen. I really have the feeling that I´m not the same person I used to be while travelling…my soul is still sitting at Kathmandu Airport…
I guess I´m not really made for this kind of society here and the weather sucks big time
I´m thinking about that life-long travel thing constantly and I even think I could do it (have to find ways to fund it, though). I´m really impressed by the thing you´re doing and I wished so much that I could do that, too. But I´m too confused I guess. I think I already started seeing myself as a kind of bum (my mother is really supportive, though). I´m constantly thinking about “starting a carreer” and going to uni, ect. but I don´t know if I have the strenght, because all I really, really want (deep inside my heart) is to explore this (still) beautiful planet and make the most out of the time that has been given me.
But I´m always worried about what will happen if I can´t travel anymore one day for any reason! No safety net then? Will I be a “real bum” , then?
All these things are floating around in my head constantly and have been for so long. I think I´m just not brave enough to just pull it off…
What about relationships? Is it possible to keep up friendships and actually get to see the friends and family? And what about a girlfriend?
I love mine and I wouldn´t want to leave her…but still…the longing for this freedom I find in travelling is kind of pulling me away again…
Wanted to start Uni know…doesn´t work out…
But I guess that´s fortunate. I will book my flight to India next week, which will give me 4 month of freedom again.
Thank you so much for this entry in your blog!
Have a good trip
PS:
Quite a personal thing I´ve written up there…but it had to be said…
Hey Flo – I appreciate the comment and you sharing your current situation. And after reading it, all I can say is that the questions you asked, are definitely not questions that should stop you from achieving your goals. No safety net? Who says you can’t earn/save money while traveling? No relationships? I’ve been on the road for 13 years and I have maintained almost all of my close friendships and I have remained very close with all of my family. As for a girlfriend? You just have to decide what is more important to you…your relationship or your other plans in life. I don’t know what the answer is of course for you, but you do have options and it doesn’t have to be as frightening as it may appear!
Enjoy India for now!
Dear Earl
Naturally the people around you a disappointed when you decide to travel permanently.
I sit “at the other end”. I’m definitely a permanent resident as is. I live in a town next to a city. I have relatives, friends and workmates around me and stay continually connected. We have birthday parties, long evening gatherings, brunches and lunches together. We go for walks, we take little trips to see new places. All the family things you know from your past life and childhood.
I think of your relatives and relations in my place. Having you travel permanently is in a way loosing you. Seeing you and interacting with you will be more scares. This is a loss. One has a child, one gets a friend not to lose them, but to have them and cherish them. So when you leave, I lose something in my life that I wish to have.
The perspective is also that of control. If one becomes too attached one is tempted to exercise control. You leaving makes me totally lose control of you. Since I obviously know what is better for you, I’m annoyed by your own control. You are becoming independent of me, and I’m seemingly not necessary to you. I think these are some of the issues of those “left behind”.
The problem for those left behind is that we tend to forget, that we don’t own each other. Even though you may be my child, my brother, my lover og my friend, I do only have you in my life for as long as you are there. No longer. I can not extend that period of time, and though I would like to, I’m not in control of that. When we live in permanent places it is easy to mistake physical presence with emotional possession.
I think some people travel to avoid impossible emotional bindings from those around. Good and healthy emotional bindings are easily stretched over distance and time. Unhealthy ones are strained even over shorter time and distances.
But I still would like my loved ones to be close to me to touch and to look in the eye.
Have a great trip!
Hi, Earl. Amazing post and comments I’ve read just now! Thank you.
Livetime travel is just what I’m dreaming about, but first should start with longest trip in my life. What a crazy thing you’ve done with me!!! Now I want to be selfish and going to go deep into your blog to discover all travel secrets !:)
Anyway, wish you the best time on earth.
At an interesting point in my life right now, in a month from now my contract teaching basketball in Beijing will be up. Friends and family are telling me to come home. I want to pack up my bag and for the first time in my life really hit the road, starting with China and then this infamous India I keep hearing about. We’ll see what happens, cheers.
Hey Andy – The answer is there already I’m sure. You just need to listen to what you really want to do and go for it!
Hey Earl,
I find myself reading this post like once a month lately. This post reminds us that it is our life and we should not be living it for anyone else. It can be hard when most people don’t agree with you. The only real positive reaction I have had is an old friend interested in joining up with me for a few months after he gets out of the military himself. However, it has definitely not been the normal response, not by a long shot. I have yet to jump on a plane across the globe but I continue to think about it every day. Currently I have made my travel plans dependent on a single future event(a guaranteed income event). With every passing day though, I am tempted to jump a plane with no money (and rid myself of a near future permanent income) just because it would almost be worth it. Then I remember, if I can wait it out, travel income will never be a problem for me. It is articles like this that keep me focused and I am grateful for that. Great writing Earl!
I don’t even want to travel, but this made me tear up a bit.
I’ve read a million blogs but your blog is one of my favorites. I’ve traveled solo for awhile but I’ve never given serious consideration to long-term travel until lately. I’m almost 23. It’s funny that it turned out that way. I had my life mapped but things happened and the world has changed dramatically within the past 8-10 years. I wish that I can get up and go but there’s that school debt that’s chaining me down.
But I’m happier and I just realize that when I read this post. I do care about finding work and a bunch of million things but I don’t care about having a traditional life with the grad school, mortgage, spouse and kids. Not that they’re bad things but I don’t want to have them just for the sake of completing such metaphorical check list. I want to see the world and experience it rather than just day-dream about it. It might take 5-6 years but I hope that I will be able to take a journey of my own one day.
I don’t see myself ever becoming a permanent nomad but kudos to you!! You truly know what you want in life and you have the guts to make it work.
Hey Jacqueline – That’s so nice of you to say and I really appreciate that kind of feedback
And do know that even with debt, there are opportunities to travel and pay it off at the same time. Just take the working holiday visas for Australia or New Zealand, each of which allows you to live there for 1 year and legally work in any job you want. I have friends who did this in Australia, got a good job and managed to pay off debt while experience that country at the same time. There are always options!
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Hi Earl,
I stumbled upon your site while researching ‘how to make my money last while traveling,’ something it seems you are quite used to doing, and have been inspired by several of your posts and comments. I have not yet been outside North America, but have always harbored the nomadic desires that seem to be a-typical in the grand scheme. Moves I have made in the past were motivated by a desire to travel but have always been dependent upon jobs I was able to secure with my education and experience. I am originally from Ohio, accepted an AmeriCorps position in Alaska to see the Northern Lights (check!), a grizzly up close and in the wild (a surprise, but check!), and the commercial fishing scene that is so very famous (deckhand on a boat without experience, check!), amongst many other unforgettable experiences and relationships. I used my fishing money to hike several weeks on the PCT, then after a while settled in Seattle to satisfy (in the end, deny) feelings of separation from a career path. I worked jobs I didn’t care about while looking for better and realized, yes I do enjoy work at work if it is meaningful, what I cannot enjoy however is hunkering down into settlement–especially working entry level jobs for years on end to possibly move up when red tape loosens its grip on us all in a society that has its priorities amiss and breeds a culture of ignorance and avoidance of the past (rambles).
The work holiday visa opportunities in Australia and New Zealand are in my five year plan. But before reading this article and above comment regarding loans (I thought, too, if I could only just pay these off first..), I could not visualize that my first big step should be in my two year plan!!!!!! Reassurance that my WILL can get me there, and that the power my determination holds is far greater than the negative pressures and fears I hear almost daily… I want to say thank you for that!
I am back on the horse!! I just moved to Utah this week for a wilderness therapy program for adolescents because I needed the sun again!!!, and although I am beyond ecstatic for this opportunity, the push I can now visualize for myself in getting off the rock sooner rather than later will get me through anything I face until that savings account reaches BUST!
Hi Earl,
I stumbled upon your site while researching ‘how to make my money last while traveling,’ something it seems you are quite used to doing, and have been inspired by several of your posts and comments. I have not yet been outside North America, but have always harbored the nomadic desires that seem to be a-typical in the grand scheme. Moves I have made in the past were motivated by a desire to travel but have always been dependent upon jobs I was able to secure with my education and experience. I am originally from Ohio, accepted an AmeriCorps position in Alaska to see the Northern Lights (check!), a grizzly up close and in the wild (a surprise, but check!), and the commercial fishing scene that is so very famous (deckhand on a boat without experience, check!), amongst many other unforgettable experiences and relationships. I used my fishing money to hike several weeks on the PCT, then after a while settled in Seattle to satisfy (in the end, deny) feelings of separation from a career path. I worked jobs I didn’t care about while looking for better and realized, yes I do enjoy work at work if it is meaningful, what I cannot enjoy however is hunkering down into settlement–especially working entry level jobs for years on end to possibly move up when red tape loosens its grip on us all in a society that has its priorities amiss and breeds a culture of ignorance and avoidance of the past (rambles).
The work holiday visa opportunities in Australia and New Zealand are in my five year plan. But before reading this article and above comment regarding loans (I thought, too, if I could only just pay these off first..), I could not visualize that my first big step should be in my two year plan!!!!!! Reassurance that my WILL can get me there, and that the power my determination holds is far greater than the negative pressures and fears I hear almost daily… I want to say thank you for that!
I am back on the horse!! I just moved to Utah this week for a wilderness therapy program for adolescents because I needed the sun again!!!, and although I am beyond ecstatic for this opportunity, the push I can now visualize for myself in getting off the rock sooner rather than later will get me through anything I face until that savings account reaches BUST!
“don’t let others dictate your life” AMEN TO THAT BROTHER!
It’s funny how people will see you differently depending on the time you keep on travelling. I’ve been traveling full-time for almost 2 years now. It was supposed to be a 1 year thing (at least to begin with) so everyone thought: “OK, she’ll travel and stuff and then go back to normal life”. Then I started working online… and people would think “OK, that’s just to help out on the go, but then she’ll go back to a regular job”. But now that things have been going for a while, I think those that first saw me as crazy are actually rethinking that and understanding that, sometimes, you have a figure-things-out period and things can become sustainable after a while and, of course, tons of work. Just because you don’t have a regular 9-5 or work in different parts of the world or don’t have to wear a suit and go to an office, that does not make you a bum! And even if you’re actually not working on the go and just enjoying the fruits of your work, using the savings you worked for, that’s very legit too.
For anyone feeling like others think they’re crazy or plain bums for wanting to travel, I’d say: if you are doing it with your own money, you are free to do whatever you feel like with your like and there’s nothing to feel bad about. Most comments come out of pure jealousy because people are frustrated with their lives and might have not had the balls to make a move or change.. so deep down they actually admire (and envy) those that have the guts to try new things out and go after what they want!
Wow! I needed to hear that. I participated in a study abroad program in 2009 and I haven’t stopped traveling since. I had a really good job in South America last year and left it to return the U.S. and get a “real job”. I really regret it. I’ve been home for about 5 months and I’m making plans to go back to South America. My mom puts so much pressure on me to stay here, get a “good job”, and get married, but I notice that I am happier and at my greatest potential when I’m abroad. It’s a tough situation. I love my family, I do want my own family one day also, but I can’t deny that I am at my best when I’m abroad. I love it.
At last!
I’m so glad I stumbled across this post. I am sixteen (going on seventeen) and I’ve decided after never living outside the state I was born in, I’m going to travel. Most among me consider me a genius of sorts, and are completely taken off guard by the fact that I don’t want to be a CEO or a doctor. When I tell people my general plan they usually have varying degrees of the reactions you listed above. I find it strange that I have been told my entire life to think outside the box, when in reality people want to keep everyone in it. Well…I don’t think I’ve ever even found the box. If anyone else finds it let me know.
I’m planning on going to college first. Paying with a mixture of working and scholarships, I hope to get a degree debt free. During college I will do a few study abroad programs, and after I will really determine where I will be going and what my income will be. Some of my goals include teaching English as a foreign language for a while, and dropping myself in a country where I don’t know a word of the language and see how much i can learn in a year.
I think life is about learning, experiencing, and comprehending, not about the paychecks and the big house in the suburbs and the husband and the kids. Maybe someday I’ll want some of that sort of life, but until then I want to search for every possible nesting location. And hey, I know some people who didn’t go get their MD until they were fifty. When I’m in a hurry to grow up, people always tell me I’ve got plenty of time. Now I can make that comment backfire.